Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Radiation Begins
Well today was the first day of radiation...finally! I am ready to get this going and over with! I had a CT scan last week, and they placed marks and tape on my skin. This weekend, the tape was really bothering me, and it took everything in me not to mess with it, but it eventually fell off in the shower. The reason it was bothering me was because I had an allergic reaction to it. I had a nice little rash where the tape had been, which I think was a good thing, because it helped them to remark me today. So they did some x-rays, had the doctor take a look at them, remarked me, and then radiated me. It was kinda crazy. They tell you on the speaker that they are about to start, and all of a sudden, staying still seems very hard. I was worried that if I breathed too hard I would mess up the rays and it would zap something it wasn't supposed to. So I was laying there thinking how crazy it is that I can't feel or see any of the radiation, but that it was actually happening. And it was even crazier that this stuff is so powerful that it only took two or three minutes, if that, to have an impact. I actually got a little nervous for a few seconds, but then I just started praying for people, and it took my mind off of it. And then I imagined the Lord in there with me, bending those lasers and directing the radiation in just the right places, kinda like in the end of the second Kung-Fu Panda when he was catching those fire balls and redirecting them. LOL! Then it was even harder to be still because I was cracking myself up. I kept telling myself that I was in the hands of the Great Physician, and knew I was not alone in there. I am so thankful to God for the doctors that he has provided me with throughout all of this. I can honestly say that I love them. Please keep me in your prayers for the next five and half weeks. Thank you for all of your prayers and support. It means more to me than I can tell you.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Relay for Life
Well this past week has been fantastic! Monday, I finally got my drains out! That was a loooong five weeks. I was still draining more than what they would have liked it to be before they took them out, but I had a complication with one of them coming out on it's own, and so they just decided to take them out. Praise the Lord!! I felt like a whole new woman. And I finally could pick up my sweet babies without fear that they would accidentally yank one out. I do have a pretty good bit of fluid built up now under my skin on one side, so I am praying that my body just absorbs it and I don't have to get it drained, and especially that it doesn't get infected. On Wednesday, they filled my tissue expanders for the last time, so I am glad to have that behind me!
I have been fighting off a few colds here and there the past two weeks, but luckily they have been short lived. My hubby has officially started his own business now, and he had his last day of work at his other job this week, so that is exciting news! And we got a boat this week! Not a fancy humongous decadent boat. Just a small aluminum boat, but we absolutely loooooooove it, and we got an amazing deal on it. Jonni and his dad have been working on it all day, and we finally got the engine going and took it out in the water. When we were getting the boat back on the trailer I was trying to "help" by hooking the strap to the little loopty thingy on the front of the boat (I know you boaters out there are impressed with my accurate terminology), aaaaaannnnndd...I fell in the water. Yep. Graceful, I know...like a cat. I'm lucky the water was only thigh deep, or else I could have messed up my hair! (Joke) Nothing was hurt, except my pride, which was especially damaged when I saw the picture that Ma just so happened to snap right at the moment my 7.0 richter scale splash went up. So now it will live on forever that on our maiden voyage mommy fell in the water. Gracie likes to tell the story over and over and over and over and over...yep. Today she was watching the Lion King, and the part where Simba drags Nala down into the water, she said "Just like Mommy. Nala fell in the water. Just like Mommy." Smarty pants.
Speaking of my hair, it is coming in a lot! I actually went to work without my wig on the other day, or I should say night. I accidentally left my medicine at work, so we had to go get it, and it was late, so no one except the security guard saw me. I brought Gracie in with me as my decoy, just in case. Anyway, I pretty much don't wear my wigs anymore, except to work.
As for radiation, I have an appointment on the 22nd to get marked up for radiation. It has been delayed due to the drains not coming out soon enough. Radiation should start sometime that same week, but I will keep you posted.
Overall, I have really been feeling great lately. I am just sooooo thankful for where I am today. I got to participate in my very first Relay for Life event this past week, and it was incredible. I got to meet so many people that have been praying for me, which was really special to me. They gave everyone who was a cancer survivor a special t-shirt, and the back of mine read "I AM HOPE" which I thought was really cool. I got to walk in the survivor lap, and everyone was clapping, and Gracie was waving like little Miss America. What a great feeling it was, but at the same time it was sobering. I have been rejoicing so much over my healing, but I know that there are so many people that are still hurting, and it breaks my heart, and I have such a burden to pray for them. I saw soooo many people with those special shirts on yesterday, and sooo many of the luminaries along the track dedicated to people that died, and it can seem really overwhelming at times how much cancer is out there. And not just cancer, but sickness in general. And not just physical sickness, but also emotional, and spiritual pain that people are in. But, "I AM HOPE" and God is MIGHTY! With God, there is no situation that is hopeless. When we stand face to face with our enemy, it is easy to give in to fear and surrender if we think that we are standing there alone. But to know that God himself stands with you, and not just with you, but in you...there is no defeat there. Rather power, and peace, and purpose, and victory, and strength, and provision, and security, and healing, and freedom, and life. I am so thankful to be a child of God. When I think of the darkest moments of my life, and the depths out of which I have come, I really do feel like I AM HOPE. What an honor to be an ambassador for Christ. What an honor to be living proof that His promises are true. My desire is to hold out that hope for others that have nothing to hope in becuase they don't know Him. To cover them with my shield of faith when they feel like they can't fight anymore and that they are defeated. So that for even a moment, they could experience God, and find all that they ever needed and wanted in Him. What an honor.
I have been fighting off a few colds here and there the past two weeks, but luckily they have been short lived. My hubby has officially started his own business now, and he had his last day of work at his other job this week, so that is exciting news! And we got a boat this week! Not a fancy humongous decadent boat. Just a small aluminum boat, but we absolutely loooooooove it, and we got an amazing deal on it. Jonni and his dad have been working on it all day, and we finally got the engine going and took it out in the water. When we were getting the boat back on the trailer I was trying to "help" by hooking the strap to the little loopty thingy on the front of the boat (I know you boaters out there are impressed with my accurate terminology), aaaaaannnnndd...I fell in the water. Yep. Graceful, I know...like a cat. I'm lucky the water was only thigh deep, or else I could have messed up my hair! (Joke) Nothing was hurt, except my pride, which was especially damaged when I saw the picture that Ma just so happened to snap right at the moment my 7.0 richter scale splash went up. So now it will live on forever that on our maiden voyage mommy fell in the water. Gracie likes to tell the story over and over and over and over and over...yep. Today she was watching the Lion King, and the part where Simba drags Nala down into the water, she said "Just like Mommy. Nala fell in the water. Just like Mommy." Smarty pants.
Speaking of my hair, it is coming in a lot! I actually went to work without my wig on the other day, or I should say night. I accidentally left my medicine at work, so we had to go get it, and it was late, so no one except the security guard saw me. I brought Gracie in with me as my decoy, just in case. Anyway, I pretty much don't wear my wigs anymore, except to work.
As for radiation, I have an appointment on the 22nd to get marked up for radiation. It has been delayed due to the drains not coming out soon enough. Radiation should start sometime that same week, but I will keep you posted.
Overall, I have really been feeling great lately. I am just sooooo thankful for where I am today. I got to participate in my very first Relay for Life event this past week, and it was incredible. I got to meet so many people that have been praying for me, which was really special to me. They gave everyone who was a cancer survivor a special t-shirt, and the back of mine read "I AM HOPE" which I thought was really cool. I got to walk in the survivor lap, and everyone was clapping, and Gracie was waving like little Miss America. What a great feeling it was, but at the same time it was sobering. I have been rejoicing so much over my healing, but I know that there are so many people that are still hurting, and it breaks my heart, and I have such a burden to pray for them. I saw soooo many people with those special shirts on yesterday, and sooo many of the luminaries along the track dedicated to people that died, and it can seem really overwhelming at times how much cancer is out there. And not just cancer, but sickness in general. And not just physical sickness, but also emotional, and spiritual pain that people are in. But, "I AM HOPE" and God is MIGHTY! With God, there is no situation that is hopeless. When we stand face to face with our enemy, it is easy to give in to fear and surrender if we think that we are standing there alone. But to know that God himself stands with you, and not just with you, but in you...there is no defeat there. Rather power, and peace, and purpose, and victory, and strength, and provision, and security, and healing, and freedom, and life. I am so thankful to be a child of God. When I think of the darkest moments of my life, and the depths out of which I have come, I really do feel like I AM HOPE. What an honor to be an ambassador for Christ. What an honor to be living proof that His promises are true. My desire is to hold out that hope for others that have nothing to hope in becuase they don't know Him. To cover them with my shield of faith when they feel like they can't fight anymore and that they are defeated. So that for even a moment, they could experience God, and find all that they ever needed and wanted in Him. What an honor.
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