My Warriors

I gotta give a shout out to my brother who is serving in the military right now overseas, and he sent me these pictures and this verse. Deuteronomy 31:6 "Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you."

I'm "Kid" by the way.  ;O)  It meant so much to me to get this email this morning.  Thinking about the battles they face daily over there, made me also think about the spiritual battles we face daily in each of our lives.  Just imagine you had a crew of guys like what is shown in that first picture following you around in your spiritual world, with AK-40 somethings and looks that could kill, just waiting to annihilate whatever came at you.  Wouldn't we be that much more courageous and strong, with coverage like that!!  In reality, we do have that.  The verse my brother sent says God goes with us always, and who can stand against God?  And Psalm 91 says that God will command his angels concerning us, to guard us in all our ways.  That is my prayer for these guys as well.  And speaking of prayers, I need to mention, that since all this has happened, I have literally found out daily of another person who is currently going through a battle with cancer, or who has recently battled cancer, and it makes my heart hurt.  So I want to give this verse to all of them as well, to encourage them not to give up, and to fight!  Pam, Elaine, Debbie, Tiffany, David, Carolina, Tex, Jeri, Susan, Gloria, Enza, Debbie (another one), Eleanor, Pam, Jamie, Tara, Anne, and Joan...I am praying for each of you daily, and I ask that as many of you that are reading this blog and praying for me, that you would pray for them as well.  I had a guy come up to me at work and tell me that he was doing his best to remember to pray for me daily, but it is sometimes hard for him to remember because he gets so wrapped up in the stuff going on in his own life.  And I thought, that has been so true for me too.  It is so easy to get wrapped up in our own stuff that we forget about all the other struggles that so many others are facing.  So I pray for him, and his family, and when I get these emails, day after day, of another person who is fighting cancer, it reminds me that I am not alone, and it spurs me on to pray and fight for and with you too!  1 Peter 5:6-11 says it all.  "I humble myself under God's mighty hand.  He will exalt me whenever and however He chooses.  I cast all my anxieties on Him, because He cares for me.  I am sober and watchful, because my adversary is seeking to destroy me.  I resist the devil.  I am firm in my faith, and I know that many are experiencing the same suffering that I am.  I will only suffer a little while, because the God of all grace, who has called me to be with Him forever in heaven, will himself RESTORE, CONFIRM, STRENGTHEN, and ESTABLISH me.  To Him be the dominion forever and ever.  Amen.  I will have peace because I am in Christ."  I paraphrased, because that is how I wrote it in my journal ;O)

Giving Thanks

Thanksgiving was so wonderful this year.  My hair started falling out a lot, so we decided to go ahead and buzz it.  It is still falling out, but at least this way, I don't have long strands everywhere.  I posted a picture of my new do below.  Get a good look, because unless my wig gets blown off by a strong wind or snagged on something, most of you will never see me bald again!  LOL!  It really wasn't that bad, and I didn't shed a tear.  It actually feels really nice not having so much hair.  Gracie took the whole thing wonderfully as well.  I don't know what I was so worried about.  After it was all buzzed, I asked her what she thought, and all she had to say was "I need more apple juice please."  Ha!  It is so nice to have them back here at the house.  They keep my priorities straight.  The first night that they were back, Grace slept in our bed with us, and at one point after I had to get up for Michael, I came back to bed, and she rolled over close to me, and threw her arm around my neck, and said "Mommy, you came back," and then fell asleep.  It was such a sweet moment for me.  I have amazing children!  I have so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.  Thank you Nick and Ginger and Sam and Franchy for all the food that you brought us so that we didn't have to cook a thing.  It was all delicious!  I am continually blown away at how everyone has rallied around us during this time.  People offering to clean my home, to help put up Christmas decorations, sending us money, bringing us food, sending me inspirational emails and letters, offering to take care of the children, praying for us, and the list goes on.  I don't deserve any of this, and it makes me that much more fired up about how I can be a blessing to others.  It has made me look specifically for ways to bless others, because I feel so blessed by all of you and it has meant so much to me.  I want to return that blessing to others.  Here is my Thanksgiving theme verse: Psalm 107:20-22 "He sent out his Word and healed them; He rescued them from the grave.  Let them GIVE THANKS to the Lord for His unfailing love and His wonderful deeds for mankind.  Let them sacrifice THANK OFFERINGS and tell of his works with songs of joy."  I actually came across this verse Thanksgiving morning, and I thought how fitting it was for the day.  So THANK YOU LORD for your steadfast love, and that you are always with me and that you will never leave nor forsake me.  Thank you for all of the wonders you have done in my life.  You have given me joy unspeakable and as long as there is breath in my body, I will sing to you songs of joy!!  You are soooo worthy to be praised! 

Okay...drum roll please........

Ta da!!

(And nobody make fun of the picture behind me.  I painted it, and yes, I know it looks like popcorn, but it is actually a tree with blossoms on it.  I'm proud of it, but I know my strengths and painting is not one of them.  There is a reason it is hanging in my bathroom, and not my living room!  Hee hee!)

Overcomer

Well, my hair started to fall out a little today, but only a little.  Again, I'm just praying that it hangs in there until my Gracie gets home, which is tomorrow!!  I can hardly wait to see her and Michael.  We have missed them so much. 

I was reading the Bible the other night, and I came across Philippians 2:10-11 "So that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."  I have debated sharing the thoughts that went through my mind after reading this verse, because I might sound like a nutcase to some.  But I really want to share it anyway, because it has really fired me up, and maybe it will fire you up too!!  I read the verses over and over...every tongue confess, in heaven, on earth, under the earth, every tongue confess that Jesus is Lord, to the glory of the Father.  And then I thought about how I have been claiming and professing the truth and power of God's Word, and believing His promises are true, and all for the glory of God.  But then it hit me, and I said out loud, "cancer, you have to speak yourself and confess that Jesus is Lord!  The Bible says every tongue, in heaven, on earth, and under the earth.  Guess what cancer, that includes you!  Jesus is my Lord, and through him, I am saved and I am healed!  Even though you want to destroy my life, and you want to defeat me, you can not and will not!!  The Bible says every tongue will confess, so you will speak my Jesus is Lord and Savior, and you will see my healing, and you will flee from me!!!"  I got so fired up, and I still am!!  And really, this truth applies to cancer, depression, anxiety, fear, insecurity, and whatever else from the enemy that tries to rise up and steal, kill, and destroy all that God has for us.  Why are we always so worried, and on the defense, and trying to just survive.  We as Christians have been graciously given a better way, and a better life than that.  Jesus took the offense, and he overcame the world and the devil.  There's a song that my sister-in-law shared with me recently, and it says "We will overcome, by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony!!"  So no matter what comes to me in this life, whatever my lot, I will overcome, I have overcome!!  I'm still just a little fired up if you can't tell!  :O)           

Beauty & The Beast

The past few days I have been feeling great!  I have little side effects here and there, like tingling in my fingers, but nothing major, and still no more of that stomach pain.  My hair is still hanging on, and I’m praying that it will not fall out before Gracie gets back this week.  I just don’t want her to come home after being gone for so long, and have her mommy look completely different.  I think that she will adjust better if she is there when I get my hair buzzed.  Plus, it will force me to hold it together for her sake.  I know this may sound crazy, but I’m not really dreading being bald.  I decided that if I keep dreading it, like it is going to be this awful experience, then it will be.  So I’ve been thinking about all of the benefits of having my head shaved.  I will spend a lot less time getting ready in the mornings, and my new hair will always be ready.  I’ll have lots of variety to choose from, and I can be a blonde, red head, or brunette, depending on my mood.  It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity to see what my scalp looks like.  I have always wondered.  We will save tons of money on getting highlights and all my hair products.  I won’t have to shave my legs or pluck my eye brows.  And, most importantly, it’s good lesson in humility, and in appreciating true beauty, which is not determined by outward appearance.  And what a valuable lesson that will be for me to pass on to Gracie.  I have been gathering verses to write all over my mirrors.  Verses that remind me that I wear a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair (Isaiah 61:3).  Verses that remind me that the Lord does not look at the things man looks at.  Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7).  Verses that remind me that my beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.  Rather it should be that of my inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight (1 Peter 3:3-4).  Verses that remind me to daily put on spiritual armor, which includes a belt of truth, a breastplate of righteousness, feet fitted with a readiness to spread the gospel, a helmet of salvation, a sword of the spirit, and shield of faith (Ephesians 6:10-17).  Who worries about their hair if they are already wearing a helmet?!  And need I mention Proverbs 31 - charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.  This is the legacy that I want to leave my daughter.  I thank the Lord that He is giving me the opportunity to be tested in this, and to overcome.  I was sharing a lot of this the other day with Jonni, and of course the very next day I started breaking out all over my face, and got a big ol zit on my forehead!  Ha!  But truly, I am thankful.      

No Pain!!

After several days of stomach pain, I woke up early this morning with no pain!!  It was fantastic!  I was thanking and praising the Lord all day.  I even ate normal food today, and all is well with my tummy!  Thank you all so much for your prayers.  I was told by a dear friend of mine today that she and her boys had been praying specifically for that this morning.  Can I tell you, prayer works, and God is my Healer!! 

I continue to be blown away by everyone's ongoing love and support through this.  I am so blessed.  Sooooo blessed.

Praise Report!!

I just got a call from the doctor, and they had recently tested me for these genetic mutuations, that if I tested positive, it would mean that my daughter and my sister and mom would be put in high risk categories for ovarian and breast cancers...and it came back that there were no genetic mutations!!  (I realize that was a major run-on sentence.)  Praise God!!  Thank you God!! 

Side Effects

I think I am hitting a low point in the chemo cycle.  They call it a "nadir" which means the point where your white and red blood cell counts are at a lowest, so you feel the crummiest.  I went in to work yesterday for a half day, and I started to feel pretty bad by the time I left there.  The worst part so far has been my stomach.  It hurts so bad all the time.  So please pray for my stomach to feel better, and please rebuke all these nasty side effects!  Yesterday they told me to go get some over the counter medicine to "help" and it made me feel worse.  I ended up having severe cramps and the room was spinning all night.  It was awful.  Today has been more of the same.  I still get body aches and I'm very tired, but the stomach aches are by far the worst part.  When I get to feeling really bad, I keep thinking that as bad as I feel right now, that cancer has got to be feeling bad too!  My mom was reading me a book yesterday that said something so profound.  It said that even though, there are all these bad side effects from chemo and cancer, that one of the greatest side effects is that it brings a person into a realization of their mortality, which leads to a deeper, more meaningful life.  He wasn't saying this as a Christian, but how true this is for me as a Christian.  I consider it a priveledge that becuase I have gone through this, I will  never look at my life the same, and that already I am closer to God than I have ever been.  The promises of God are that much sweeter now that they have been proven true in this time of war in my life.  What an opportunity?  I wouldn't want it any other way! 

Philippians 3:12-16

 ¹² Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. ¹³ Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴ I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3:7-8

 ⁷ But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. ⁸ What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ

Rejoice Always, Pray Continually

Well so far the treatment has not made me feel too badly.  I have been a little nauseous and tired, but nothing as bad as what I had expected.  We went to pick out wigs on Friday, and I was very impressed with the choices that they had.  My sister went with me, and we were both having a blast and cracking up trying on all theses different wigs.  I got two wigs, a blonde one and a red one!  Why not have fun with it right??  The lady at the store was so sweet, and she also gave me a long purple and white wig to give to Gracie, so hopefully that will help her to not be too freaked out when she sees me with a wig one minute and then no hair the next.  Please keep my sweet babies in your prayers.  I know it is really hard for them to be away from us temporarily, and that Gracie especially is old enough to know a little about what is going on.  I am just praying the God would protect her heart and comfort her.  I miss my babies so much.

The last few days have been a little hard.  Again, so many thoughts running through my head, and I have really been having to fight off fear and worry and discouragement.  There is a lady Jeri that I haven't even met yet, but a friend of mine put us in contact through email, and she has brought me so much encouragement.  She recently was also diagnosed with breast cancer and has sent me so many emails with devotions and scriptures.  Since this has happened to me, it has blown me away to find out how many people have gone through this.  It has been almost every day that I hear of another sister, or mother, or wife that has been through this.  Jeri recently sent me an email with her life verse: 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."  This experience has taught me so much already, and helped me to grow closer to God.  All of the time that I start to get scared and start to feel weak, I just draw in closer to Him, and I rejoice in where he has me today, and once again He brings me peace and strength and healing.

Thank you again to everyone for the prayer, food, emails, books, gifts, visits, etc.  You are all amazing and I love you.  

Just Want to Say Thank You

Well I made it through my first treatment!  I will have to go back again in three weeks.  I go tomorrow to pick out my wig...promises to be an interesting trip I know!  I think I might get like four different ones, and wear whichever one I feel in the mood for that day.  And how wonderful that my hair will always be ready!  No more bad hair days! 

I have so many thank yous to say.  So many people have blessed me and my family during this time that it is truly overwhelming.  Thank you GasTech Group for our dinner lastnight, and Jimmy Drounette for dinner and groceries tonight.  Thank you to all that have offered to donate their vacation time.  Thank you to my sister, who came and cleaned every single spec of dirt in my home.  I walked through the doors, and it smelled clean, and it still smells clean!!  I know she worked so hard, becuase my place was a mess!  ;O)  Thank you Bryant for the recliner!  Thank you mom for coming and waiting on me, and walking me through all of the medical aspects of this.  Thank you for the lunches, and beautiful hats and earrings and clothes.  I'm so glad you are here.  Thank you Dad for driving all those hours to come and see me.  Thank you David and Sarah for taking such great care of my babies.  Thank you to all my nurses today, Lisa, Sharon, Constance, and Willie.  Thank you Dr. Littleton and Dr. Atkinson for taking great care of me today.  Thank you soooooo much to everyone that has sent me an email or a text message telling me that they were thinking about me, or praying for me.  Those emails and messages are so dear to me, and I have saved them all!  Thank you Jonni for holding me up when I needed to lean on you, and ofcourse for keeping me laughing.  Thank you for your unconditional love.  And last but definately not least, thank you God that you have kept this cancer from spreading anywhere else in my body, and thank you for the salvation and healing that you provided through the cross of Christ.  Thank you for your peace that passes all understanding and blessed assurance that I can cling to in the face of trials.  Thank you that in my weakness, your strength in me is increased!  Thank you for molding and shaping me into the person that you want me to be, so that I can accomplish your purposes in this life.  Thank you for how much you love me.  Thank you for this trial, that will test and prove and strengthen my faith and my relationship with you.  Thank you.     

Warrior Training

I had all my tests yesterday, and today they told me that the cancer had not spread to any other parts of my body besides the breast and my lymph nodes.  So praise God for that!  They put my port in this morning, and I am actually sitting here as I type getting my first chemo treatment.  It's pretty nice here...I'm getting waited on hand and foot, listening to my music, napping, and blogging.  I had to get up to use the restroom, and they have all these tubes hooked up to me, so I had to wheel this long pole with me when I went, and I must of looked like a newbie.  I got all tangled up several times, and crashed my pole into a door...looked like a cat with a ball of yarn! LOL!  But I made it.  They gave me all kinds of medicine today, so I'm feeling kinda loopy.  If I misspell a bunch of things, or if I go off on a tangent about rainbows and bunnies...just ignore me.  :O)

I titled my blog "Warrior Training" because i got a devotional about it on my phone yesterday.  It said "God allows circumstances to develop around your life to give your faith opportunity to be proven.  It is only when we are tested in battle that we become skilled warriors.  These battles are sent your way to test whatyou know in the mind or order that they might become part of your heart.  Do not fear these battles that are before you.  God has already given you the victory if you choose complete dependence and obedience to Him.  Then you will become one of God's greatest warriors, skilled in spiritual warfare." 

Thank you everyone for all of your prayers.  I have felt your covering over me.  I still declare that healing is mine, the Lord is my Healer, and He wants me to be healed...mind body and spirit!  I am resting under the shelter of His wing and believe and claim all of his promises.  His power is SO great for those who believe.       

Forever Reign

I heard this song on the radio today, and I think it is going to be one of my anthems through this time.  I put the lyrics below.  Nothing to update on today, other than I got the flu shot, picked up medicine, and other prep work for Thursday.  I am praying for a miracle tomorrow when I get my pet scan.  No cancer!!  But EVEN IF...I will still praise my God!  Healing is mine, the Lord is my Healer, and He wants me to be healed.  I was talking with Jonni today about this, and I thought, what profit is it to be healed in my physical body, yet still not know the Lord?  There is a passage in scripture that says on the last day, people will say Lord Lord, we drove out demons, and healed the sick, etc.  But the Lord will say away from me, for I did not know you.  That just blows my mind.  That's when I thought that above all, no matter what happens in this life, I want to know Him, intimately.  Because eternity is a LOT longer than however much longer he has me here.  I want to be free from the cares of this world...fully assured in my relationship with him.  I'm not saying I'm there yet, but that is what I'm striving for now more than I ever have before, as if my very life depended on it, because it does. 

I was told today that people are planning to bring me meals over the next few months...wow.  I am so incredibly thankful and blessed.  Thank you for all of the emails and texts and calls.  They mean more than you know.  If I don't answer when you call or respond to emails and texts right away, please don't stop.  There have just been so many, and I will try to respond as much as I can.  Even if I don't talk with you in person, your contact with me means more than I can say.  Thank you with all my heart.

FOREVER REIGN

You are good, You are good
When there's nothing good in me
You are love, You are love
On display for all to see
You are light, You are light
When the darkness closes in
You are hope, You are hope
You have covered all my sin

You are peace, You are peace
When my fear is crippling
You are true, You are true
Even in my wandering
You are joy, You are joy
You're the reason that I sing
You are life, You are life,
In You death has lost its sting

Oh, I’m running to Your arms,
I’m running to Your arms
The riches of Your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign

You are more, You are more
Than my words will ever say
You are Lord, You are Lord
All creation will proclaim
You are here, You are here
In Your presence I'm made whole
You are God, You are God
Of all else I'm letting go

Oh, I’m running to Your arms
I’m running to Your arms
The riches of Your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign

My heart will sing
no other Name
Jesus, Jesus

Oh, I’m running to Your arms
I’m running to Your arms
The riches of Your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign   

Curveball

I went in at 1:00 today to talk to the general surgeon, and he decided to do another physical exam and he also did a biopsy on one of my lymph nodes.  After that, he explained to me that the tumor in my breast was fairly large (4.5 cm), that it was a stage 3, and that there were several lymph nodes that were suspect.  He said that they type of tumor that I have is estrogen resistant, which means that it is a more aggressive type tumor, but that it is Her2+, which is good news because there is a medicine for that type that works really well.  So he decided to do chemotherapy before surgery, rather than the other way around, which is what I was expecting.  So after I left there, I went straight to the oncologist, and she explained all of that to me again, and also explained that we were going to attack this pretty aggressively because of the type of tumor and that there were so many of my lymph nodes suspect.  Then I did some blood work and finally got to come home.  Wednesday I go in for a pet scan, where they will scan my entire body to see where these cancer cells might show up.  I pray that they don't show up anywhere!  Then they have to do an echo cardiogram on Wednesday as well.  Then on Thursday I get my port put in, which is a permanent "port" where they administer the chemotherapy, and the port will stay in until I am finished with the treatments, which will be every three weeks for about five months.  So after the port gets put in on Thursday morning, I will go straight from there to get my first chemotherapy treatment. 

So all that to say...it's been a really hard day today.  I cried alot, which I hadn't done up to this point.  I knew that these kinds of days were coming, and I will probably have more, but I don't like them.  One thing I keep hearing over and over, from doctors even, is that your mental attitude towards this whole thing is crucial to your success and recovery.  I know that there is such a huge mind/body connection, and I know how much power there are in our words.  The Bible says we hold the power of life and death in our tongue.  I think about how many careless words I have spoken in the past, and I don't ever want to start doing that again.  On the days where my emotions lie to me, and tell me that I am weak and defeated, I am going to speak the truth of God's Word.  Bless the Lord, o my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all my iniquity, who heals all my diseases.  I still believe that healing is mine, that the Lord is my Healer, and that He wants me healed...mind, body, and spirit.  With God, nothing is impossible. 

One quick story, my sister told me today that she was going to shave her hair and get a wig since I was going to have to.  I of course refused to allow that, but I have to say how much that meant to me, because I know she would do it!  I love you Michele!  Thanks for putting a big smile on my face right when I needed it.

  

Appointments Galore!

I have an appointment this afternoon at 1:00 with the surgeon who would perform the mastectomy, and right after that, I have an appointment with the oncologist.  The oncologist would be the one administering chemotherapy, and again, they won't know for sure if I will need that until the lymph node biopsy results come back.  My surgeon was out all last week, and he indicated that after reading my file this morning, he thinks that there is a high probability that the cancer is in my lymph nodes, so that is why he set up the appointment for me with the oncologist today.  I met this past Friday with a plastic surgeon that would do the reconstructive surgury, and I didn't like him, so I am now scheduled to meet a new plastic surgeon on Wednesday morning at 9:00.  Because of that, it is unlikely that I will have surgury this week, but rather early next week, but I won't know for sure until later today.  So please pray for all these appointments.  Ask God for wisdom on my part and on the doctors' parts.  I am still praying for healing, and I believe that it is mine.  I serve a great big God, and his power that is at work in me is the same power that raised Christ from the dead.  With God, nothing is impossible.         

Background

A few months ago, I started to notice that something didn't feel right, so I went to the doctor to get checked, and long story short, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  I had an MRI last Wednesday, and the results stated that the cancer was only in one breast, and had not spread to my chest wall muscles, but that there is an indication that the cancer has spread to my lymph nodes.  As a result, we have discussed that within the next few weeks, we would need to do a double mastectomy, and that they will also take out several of my lymph nodes.  They said they won't know for sure if the cancer has spread to my lymph nodes until they remove them and get result from the biopsy. They said that if the cancer has not spread to my lymph nodes, then the mastectomy and maybe a little radiation would take care of the cancer in my breast, but if the cancer has spread to my lymph nodes that further testing would be required, along with chemotherapy, etc.  I am supposed to talk with more doctors this coming week to finalize all of the plans.  So medically speaking, that is all that I know as of today.

I said "medically speaking" because there is ofcourse another side of my story that is completely spiritual.  Anyone who has been faced with matters of life and death knows how something like this can cause so much to stir in your spirit and soul.  I can say that since all this has happened, I have never felt closer to God, and I have never been so sure that He is real, and that His promises are true.  God has given me so much supernatural peace throughout all of this, and I am not afraid of what is going to happen.  Jonni and I were talking tonight, and we were saying that sometimes people put way too much emphasis on the temporal things of this life, and spend much less time focusing on what lasts forever and the things that really matter.  I have asked so many questions about faith and healing since this has happened that I never asked before, and I have asked for God to heal me.  I believe that God is my healer, and that he wants me to be healed, and that Jesus took my sickness on the cross.  But at the same time, I have prayed that through this time I would come to know and love and serve Him more than ever before, because I know that the condition of  my spirit is of far greater importance than whether or not this body of mine, which will one day wither and decay, is healed.  So my main focus during this time is to draw nearer to Him, so that I may know Him more, and that whoever would read this blog would seek to know him more too.  I received a devotional on my phone the day that I was diagnosed with cancer, and it said that all the trials of this life are sent to strengthen and prove our faith.  I want faith that is tried and true!  There is so much more in my heart to share about what has happened spiritually in the last two weeks, and what God has already done, but there is just not enough time to write it all now.  More to come. 

I want to reiterate my thanks to so many people.  I have never in my life felt more loved and covered in prayer than I do now.  My heart is so full of thankfulness to those who have stepped in during this time and blessed me and my family in some way.  I would go through everyone's name so that you could be acknowledged  individually, but there have been so many people  that I am afraid I would forget someone.  If you are reading this blog, you are probably one of those people, so thank you.  All of the phone calls, text messages, and emails have meant more than you can possibly know.  So many people have started prayer chains, and added me to prayer lists, and prayed with me personally.  Already, people have helped take care of the children during appointments, visited with us, brought food, etc.  So many more have offered to help us with the children, to take care of me when I am recovering from surgury, to bring us meals, to take me to appointments, to clean my home, and the list goes on.  I have been so blessed by the people that I work with.  I can't say how much it means to work with people that truly care, people that tear up when you tell them what you are going through, people that have donated vacation to me so that I would have more time to recover, people that have gladly offered to cover my work while I have to be out, people that have prayed with me and send me big and little gifts and letters to let me know that they care.  I want to thank my husband for being such a rock and a support for me during this time.  Thank you for your faith and your counsel, which inspires me to keep pushing in deeper to God.  And thank you for keeping my laughing through all of this.  You are my closest friend and I am so blessed to be your wife.